Since the age of 10 I started going on medication for my OCD. I have been on nearly 40 different medications trying to find the correct one for me. When I did find the correct medication my OCD was controlled a little better, but I still had bad days and I still did my rituals. As I got older when I really felt that my OCD was under control, I decided to go off my medication. Not only a few months later my OCD came back full force and was as bad as it was when I first got it.
Now does that mean that the medication completely helped me of my OCD? Or maybe was it in my head that the medication was helping so when I went off it my thoughts doomed me and my body got so use to taking medication that I had to stay on it? These are questions I ask myself all the time. Is it like when you have a headache and you automatically take Advil or something of that nature and you feel cured right away. Now did that pill help you or is it just in your head that you took the pill so it must have helped you.
If I could go back in time, I would never have taken any medication and have my body subjected to its spell like symptoms. I would have tried other forms of treatment, i.e more therapy, the gym, something else. Now I am unfortunately going to have to take medication for the rest of my life. Now is that because it helps or just because it’s in my head?